Hello toilet trained, "Come on in."
Floyd observes my hairy chin
Sit down in the chair don't be afraid
Steamed hot towel on my face

I was shaved
And I was shaved
And I was shamed

Barney ties me to the chair
I can't see I'm really scared
Floyd breathes hard, I hear a zip
Pee-pee pressed against my lips

I was shaved
And I was shaved
And I was shamed

Uhhh (2x)

I sense others in the room
Opie, Aunt Bea, I presume
They take turns and cut me up
I die smothered in Aunt Bea's muff

I was shaved
And I was shaved
And I was shamed